The Success Principles Workbook Page 3
What is the cost for not changing it? I’m miserable in my current job, and I’ll remain miserable if I don’t take action.
What would you rather be experiencing? I want to feel like I am walking my talk, that I am “all in” with my life, and that I’m fulfilling my true purpose by doing what I really long to do.
What actions will you take to create that? I will decide what topic to start with, create a new Web site, start blogging, and launch my new business.
By when will you take that action? By the end of next month. (Gulp! It’s scary to commit to starting, but I know all the steps I need to take.)
On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to follow through with that action? 10! It has to be a 10. I have been waiting too long, and there is nothing stopping me except my own fear and hesitancy.
Many of the problems that remain unresolved for us are due to one thing: We don’t see that we are part of the problem. We are not taking 100% responsibility for how we are creating it. The series of questions that follow will guide you through a powerful process to correctly define the problem, take ownership for how you are creating it, and clarify how to resolve it.
This exercise is best done with a partner, but it can also be done alone as a journal writing exercise just answering the questions on paper. If you can, find a friend or colleague you trust with whom to do this exercise. You will both benefit from it. Have your partner ask you each of the questions in order. After you complete answering the questions, switch roles and then ask your partner the questions.
Now it is your turn to answer the questions. If you have a partner, each of you will take a turn asking the other the entire list of questions. Don’t respond to, suggest solutions, or judge each other’s answers. Simply assist by asking the questions. If you are doing this exercise alone, simply ask yourself the questions and write down the answers.
Now It’s Your Turn: Difficult or Troubling Situation Exercise
What is a difficult or troubling situation in your life?
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How are you creating it or allowing it to happen?
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What are you pretending not to know?
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What is the payoff for keeping it like it is?
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What is the cost for not changing it?
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What would you rather be experiencing?
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What actions will you take to create that?
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By when will you take that action?
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On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to follow through with that action?
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How are you complicit in creating the conditions of your lives that you say you don’t want?
JERRY COLONNA
Author of Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up
The principle of taking 100% responsibility for your life is not something you learn about once and it is solved for the rest of your life. It is more like staying fit. Every day you have to pay attention. Every day you can ask yourself, Did I blame anyone today? Did I complain today, instead of taking action to change the situation? Did I make excuses today when I did not get the result I wanted or that I had promised?
Taking 100% responsibility for everything in your life is a new way of thinking for most people. Over time, as you pay attention and live this principle, it will become second nature to you. Practicing and eventually mastering this fundamental principle is absolutely necessary in order to produce the results you want and to have the life you long for.
To take 100% responsibility for your life means you take ownership for all you do and for the results you produce. As you do that, your life will become less complicated and you will have the energy, power, and ideas to create the life you want. This is captured in the quote you may have heard before: “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.”
ARE YOU CHANGING?
Growth = Awareness + Choice. You may not have noticed it fully yet, but reading this chapter and doing these exercises have likely begun to change you. You may begin to notice that something does not feel right when you or someone else starts to blame someone, complain about something, or make an excuse. Simply being aware of this is a huge step in itself. It provides the opening for you to choose a different and more effective response.
When you notice that you are complaining, blaming, or making excuses, you can pause and take a breath. Slow down, become present with yourself, and make a new choice. It is that simple. But it’s not always easy! You have to stay vigilant. The more you stay aware and practice what you have learned, the easier and easier it will get over time until eventually it will become an unconscious habit.
Okay, you have now completed the learning portion of this chapter. However, since this is a workbook, designed for you to put these success principles to work in your life every day and to make their use a habit, there is still a little more work to do.
MAKE-IT-A-HABIT WORKSHEET
Take 100% Responsibility Today
I trust that you now see that to empower yourself to take action toward the success you want, you must be willing to give up blaming, complaining, and making excuses. In order to give up these behaviors, however, you must also become aware of when you are behaving this way.
To raise your awareness, conduct a 100% Responsibility Evening Review every evening for a week. The purpose is to review your day and look for where you may have blamed, complained, or made excuses. Here’s how to do that:
1. Complete the 100% Responsibility Evening Review below, every evening for a week.
Every evening for the next seven days, reflect on your day and consider the following questions. Take your time and consider what you said to yourself, as well as what you may have said aloud to others. Many people find it easier to answer the questions when they close their eyes.
Note: Instead of giving you questions that can be answered by a simple yes or no, the questions that follow are designed to begin a “self inquiry” where you can review your day and identify those situations where you blamed, complained, or made excuses.
Blaming Review
Who did I blame today?
Example: I attended a workshop today, and I blamed (in my thoughts) the person in charge, thinking he did not design the event very well.
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From the point of view of taking 100% responsibility, I see that . . .
Example: Actually, I remember now that I did not bring a workbook as requested. I had to borrow a piece of paper, and that limited my ability to do the written work in a manner that would have allowed me to get more value from the activities.
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A more responsible statement, or an action to take next time, is:
Example: Instead of blaming the person, even in my head, next time I will ensure I am fully prepared to participate.
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Complaining Review
What did I complain about today?
Example: I was tired and sleepy a couple of times today and complained to others and myself about my low energy.
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From the point of view of taking 100% responsibility, I see that . . .
Example: I have not been exercising much lately, and I’ve been eating more sugar than is good for me.
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A more responsible statement, or an action to take next time, is:
Example: I will increase my exercise by 15 minutes a day for at least four days per week, beginning tomorrow.
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As you do this Evening Review and ask yourself these questions, remember to breathe! Relax. Be easy on yourself. You are not bad or wrong. It is a common habit to blame, complain, and make excuses. You are the exception for wanting to change that habit and to empower yourself to create a better life through taking 100% responsibility.
Making Excuses
What did I make an excuse about today?
Example: Someone brought donuts to work today. Those crumb cake ones . . . my favorites. I wanted to ignore them, but I ate one. My excuse was that it was too hard for me to resist.
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From the point of view of taking 100% responsibility, I see that . . .
Example: I was the one who chose to eat them. I may as well just drop the excuse. It doesn’t add anything; it just makes me feel like a victim of my own lack of willpower. Instead, I affirm that how I respond to any event in life is up to me.
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A more responsible statement, or an action to take next time, is:
Example: First, I can simply accept the fact that I chose to eat them. I can also use a tactic next time such as leaving the snack area right away whenever I see those crumb cake donuts!
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2. Make a reminder for yourself—right now—to complete a 100% Responsibility Evening Review each evening this week.
If you are like most people, once you put down this workbook, you may forget about these ideas until you pick up the workbook again. In order to avoid this outcome, you will need to put in extra effort to implement your newfound behaviors. Here are several ways to make a reminder for yourself to do this evening review each night this week.
Make a sticky note that says, “100% Responsibility Evening Review” and place it on the cover of this workbook. Place the workbook on your bedside table. You may also want to place a sticky note on your bathroom mirror.
Set a timer on your smartphone for each evening this week with the label, “Evening Review.”
If you look at your daily calendar in the evening, write an appointment for yourself for your evening review.
3. Write a reminder card.
If you write in a journal regularly, write a reminder on a notecard and place the card in your journal where you will see it.
4. Take a picture.
Snap a picture of the questions with your smartphone for your personal use. Print it or store it where you will see it as a reminder.
Add to Your Life Success Journal
In the back of this Workbook is a section called Your Life Success Journal where you’ll have the opportunity to record your key learnings from each chapter in an easy-to-locate place.
Go to the beginning of Your Life Success Journal now.
Chapter
2
Be Clear Why You’re Here: Determine Your Life Purpose
I am passionately and joyfully pursuing my life’s calling, every day moving closer to achieving my goals.
AFFIRMATION
Determining our life purpose—and deciding how we are meant to express it in the world—is one of the most important actions that successful people take to create the lives they want. They take the time to understand what they’re naturally good at and what they’re meant to do—then they pursue that role with passion and enthusiasm. I believe that discovering your life purpose is one of the most important principles of success.
In this chapter, you’ll not only discover what brings you joy and what you’re passionate about, but you’ll also determine the highest and best use of those skills and activities—for you . . . for your career . . . for your family . . . and for the world. You will gain valuable clarity on what your purpose is so you can start living a life of greater meaning, fulfillment, and success.*
BORN THIS WAY
After working with more than a million people all over the world, I have come to believe that each of us is born with a unique life purpose that’s up to us to discover. Your purpose isn’t something you need to make up; it’s already there. You just have to uncover it. You are unique and your life purpose is unique, too.
You have a masterpiece inside you, you know. One unlike any that has ever been created, or ever will be. If you go to your grave without painting your masterpiece, it will not get painted. No one else can paint it. Only you.
GORDON MACKENZIE
A LIFE OF MEANING
Discovering your purpose is key to creating a life of meaning, fulfillment, and success. Clarifying and pursuing your life purpose will not only help you get the success you want, it will also make your journey more fulfilling and enjoyable. When your life purpose guides you, you can use your natural talents and abilities to accomplish what you want. When you’re clear about your purpose, you will know which opportunities and choices are aligned with your purpose—and which are not.
MY OWN LIFE PURPOSE
I have made sure that the work I do is completely aligned with my purpose. That alignment is core to my success and to my satisfaction and joy in life. Here is my life purpose statement:
My life purpose is to inspire and empower people to live their highest vision in a context of love and joy, in harmony with the highest good of all concerned.
I live my purpose in several ways. I inspire people through the stories I tell, like in the 200+ Chicken Soup books that I compiled and edited, and in movies like The Secret and The Soul of Success. I empower others by teaching practical techniques in books like The Success Principles and through this Workbook, as well as through my live and online Breakthrough to Success and Train the Trainer programs. I have conducted trainings and seminars in more than 50 countries and have given more than a thousand speeches to over one million people. And I’ve enjoyed every minute of it because it’s what I love to do, and it’s in alignment with my life purpose.
WITHOUT A LIFE PURPOSE
For some people, though, it’s a challenge to identify their life purpose. However, without a purpose in life, it’s easy to get sidetracked on your life’s journey, to wander and drift, accomplishing little. You may even have asked yourself at one point or another, “What should I do with my life?” Or you may enjoy what you do, but on deeper exploration, discover that you’re passionate about something altogether different from what you currently are doing. Without a life purpose as the compass to guide you, even your greatest achievements may not fulfill you.
WHAT MAKES YOU COME ALIVE?
Where in your life do you find the most joy and fulfillment? The answers to these questions point directly to your life purpose.
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
HOWARD THURMAN
Author, Philosopher, Theologian, and Educator
Your purpose can provide you with inner guidance that tells you when you’re on course or off course by the amount of joy you’re experiencing. Those activities that bring you the greatest joy are the ones that are most in alignment with your life purpose. When you follow your joy, everything in life seems to fall into place. You’re doing what you love to do, doing what you’re good at, and accomplishing what’s important to you. When you’re on purpose, the people, resources, and opportunities you need seem to naturally gravitate toward you.